"Jesus will build his church... but it's also frustrating to be so limited."
That was my message to a friend the other day. Life here continues but it is hemmed in by necessary coronavirus precautions.
As a family, we have less than a year remaining to live full-time in our city, due to visas. Yet (in part because of those self-same visas) this period also provides my husband and I with greater time, flexibility and freedom to serve the local church here. We thought we might have had to leave sooner; we didn't anticipate getting this extra time here. And we're carrying mental lists of good, useful things we could be doing in these bonus months. Meeting up with people interested in the Gospel. Preparing food for everyone to eat together after a church service. Visiting isolated believers in other cities. Sharing dinner, conversation and life with church family. Getting on with baptism lessons with a brand new believer.
These lists and plans involve a lot of doing. And as Christians, we are meant to be doing. We're to be doers of the word, devoting ourselves to doing what is good (James 1:22; Titus 3:14). We are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works (Ephesians 2:10).
But right now we can't get on with most of the things on our lists. And the things we can do are often having to be done in a less-than-ideal way.
I've been praying recently, "Lord, I don't know how but use coronavirus for your glory. Use us here for your glory." When I'm being honest though, I recognise that beneath my prayer there's an undercurrent that says, "Why God? You seem to have shut the door on us remaining here long-term but you've given us these additional months to stay. Aren't we meant to be stewarding them well, working through the Spirit's power for the growth of your church here? Aren't we meant to be doing more than we can right now?".
I don't think it's wrong to humbly ask God why. However there's a temptation interwoven into my questions and prayers, to believe that my plan, full of things to do, would be better than God's plan. But what if God's plan is also full of things for me to do, but my idea of what I should be focusing on this year is different from God's idea of what I should be doing?
In his book, 'The Disciple-Making Parent', Chap Bettis quotes Paul Miller as saying "It didn't take me long to realize that I did my best parenting by prayer. I began to speak less to the kids and more to God." Bettis goes on to ask "Might you do your best parenting by prayer?"
Prayer as our best parenting doesn't mean that the other aspects of parenting are unimportant. As parents, we still have to love and teach our children. We still have to do the repetitive tasks of parenting - feeding, clothing, clearing up messes. We nurture them as we listen, encourage, discipline, read, explore and play. We actively point them to Jesus as we teach them, pray with them, bring them to church and weave the gospel into our everyday lives. But prayer as our best parenting recognises that we cannot change our children's hearts. It shows that we cannot parent by our own strength but must go about our parenting consciously relying on God's power. It might not change the core of what we do, but it will most definitely change how we do it.
Might I do my best kingdom work by prayer? Might I have no other choice but to do my best kingdom work this year by prayer? Could it be that this year I will talk less with my brothers and sisters in Christ, more to God and be more effective in ministry?
I dare not make presumptions as to what the Almighty God can and will achieve through coronavirus. I do not know how he will use these strange times for his glory. But I wonder if God is using the limitations of my circumstances to bring me to my knees in prayer.
When what we can do seems so inadequate, the delusion that we can change people falls away. When our ability to 'do' is reduced, we expose the lie that our efforts are sufficient to build Christ's church. When we are constrained and limited, we uncover the truth that was there all along: we are meant to do good works but we're meant to do them with a prayerful dependence on God.
Prayer as our best kingdom work doesn't mean that our other work here is useless or insignificant. Less time to spend with church family doesn't mean that we won't talk to them at all. We'll still be taking all the opportunities that we reasonably can to help build up the body of Christ here. At the same time, we're acknowledging that maybe this year, God is going to visibly show us that we'll do our best discipling, encouraging, teaching by prayer.
