Time flies - how is it December tomorrow?!
I started back at language school yesterday, doing the course that L did last month. My class seems quite different in make up to his. L's class included a few people who'd lived here a couple of years already and so spoke the Turkish that they did already know confidently and almost fluently. That changes the whole dynamic of a class while my class doesn't really have that sort of people in it. This month I'll be doing a lot of relative clauses and indirect speech. Until I started learning Turkish, I'm not sure I knew what a relative clause was (the unfortunate result of going through the British school system at a time when the powers that be had decided that teaching grammer was a bad idea). But my English grammer has definitely improved over the last few months!
My teacher also informed us yesterday that we each had to do a 15-20 minute presentation in Turkish, which wasn't really a surprise as L had to do one in his course. Mine's next week, so I've been busy starting to draft that - I had grand ideas of doing it about utilitarianism and how people usually make their decisions on what will make them happy, but then showing how there are some fundamental problems with this philosophy that acts as many people's de facto moral compass. But then I came back down to earth and realised that communicating those concepts in a way that is easy to understand is pretty hard in English, never mind in Turkish.
So my brainwave yesterday was that it is almost December and therefore will soon be Christmas! Perfect timing for me to talk about a traditional English Christmas, which means that I can also talk about the reason we celebrate Christmas.
On a different note, the weather here has been decidedly English the last couple of days - cold and very wet. So other than a couple of excursions to go splashing in puddles, J's spent a lot of time inside. But he hasn't minded too much - a friend who has young children and very conveniently lives a 5 minute walk from us came over yesterday. Interestingly, there aren't really any volunteer-run toddler groups like there is in the UK, and as the weather's been getting colder, that's something I've found myself really missing. Today J spent a long time playing with his coloured rice, pouring it from one container to another (or just straight onto the mat) which was a great way to entertain him other than the fact that the rice seems to get everywhere. We resorted to hoovering the rice out of his cot in the end...
Wednesday, 30 November 2016
Monday, 28 November 2016
Our playground conundrum
Language learning brings a number of puzzles that we never anticipated, particularly when combined with a small child.
Here's one we're wrestling with at the moment.
We speak English to J, although sometimes J is around when we're speaking Turkish together (which doesn't happen as often as it should).
But when one of us takes him to the park and there are other parents and children there, what language should we speak?
If I want to be able to engage with other parents and for them to know that I can speak some Turkish, it really helps if they can hear me speaking Turkish. Otherwise they might just assume I don't speak any Turkish and won't say anything to me. The easiest way to do that is to speak to J in Turkish in the park, so when I'm overheard by others they know I can speak a little of the language and are more likely to talk to me.
Plus, it's surprising how much I end up speaking to J partly in order to communicate to others. For example, when he's plonked himself down at the top of a slide and there's another child who wants to come down, the natural thing to do is to say to J "come on, come down the slide, there's another child waiting". Part of that is for J, but part of it is also for the waiting child (and their parent!) to let them know that I've seen that they are waiting and I'm trying to do something about it. But if I'm speaking for J's benefit, I'd speak in English. If I'm speaking for the benefit of other people to J, I need to be speaking Turkish, even if J doesn't understand.
L and I were chatting about this the other day, and we don't have any easy answers. In time, J will learn some Turkish and also learn that while Mummy and Daddy generally speak in one language, sometimes there are situations in which they talk using a completely different set of words and grammar. But knowing what to do right now when he's in an intensive and critical period of just starting to speak is hard.
Our solution right now is a bit of a compromise. Generally we talk to J in English at the park, sometimes we talk in Turkish. Sometimes I talk to J in English but to other parents and children in Turkish. We think it's working for us at the moment, and we'll just have to see how it works out as he gets older.
Here's one we're wrestling with at the moment.
We speak English to J, although sometimes J is around when we're speaking Turkish together (which doesn't happen as often as it should).
But when one of us takes him to the park and there are other parents and children there, what language should we speak?
If I want to be able to engage with other parents and for them to know that I can speak some Turkish, it really helps if they can hear me speaking Turkish. Otherwise they might just assume I don't speak any Turkish and won't say anything to me. The easiest way to do that is to speak to J in Turkish in the park, so when I'm overheard by others they know I can speak a little of the language and are more likely to talk to me.
Plus, it's surprising how much I end up speaking to J partly in order to communicate to others. For example, when he's plonked himself down at the top of a slide and there's another child who wants to come down, the natural thing to do is to say to J "come on, come down the slide, there's another child waiting". Part of that is for J, but part of it is also for the waiting child (and their parent!) to let them know that I've seen that they are waiting and I'm trying to do something about it. But if I'm speaking for J's benefit, I'd speak in English. If I'm speaking for the benefit of other people to J, I need to be speaking Turkish, even if J doesn't understand.
L and I were chatting about this the other day, and we don't have any easy answers. In time, J will learn some Turkish and also learn that while Mummy and Daddy generally speak in one language, sometimes there are situations in which they talk using a completely different set of words and grammar. But knowing what to do right now when he's in an intensive and critical period of just starting to speak is hard.
Our solution right now is a bit of a compromise. Generally we talk to J in English at the park, sometimes we talk in Turkish. Sometimes I talk to J in English but to other parents and children in Turkish. We think it's working for us at the moment, and we'll just have to see how it works out as he gets older.
Wednesday, 16 November 2016
November ramblings
This week it feels like winter has well and truly hit Istanbul. Today it was 9 degrees outside! Apparently it can actually snow here, though no signs of any yet.
L's in the middle of another month's language course and on Monday he had to give a 20-25 minute presentation in class - in Turkish of course - on a topic of his choosing. He spent much of the weekend working on that while J and I had a trip to Kadıköy, just across on the Asian side. I'd spent the best part of two weeks within a quarter mile of our flat and really felt I needed some open space and J hadn't been on a ferry for quite a while. So a trip on the public ferry across the Bosphorus, a quick lunch outside for us both, space for J to run around on the promenade next to the sea, cats for him to watch/chase and a return ferry journey in time for his afternoon nap was perfect. And it was warm - so warm that J was running around in a t-shirt and jumper without me getting told off by anyone for not having enough layers on him!
This is in contrast to yesterday, where despite having wrapped J up in a coat and hat over his vest and long-sleeved top for the approximately 10 minute (if you average out my walking speed while carrying J with J's walking speed) walk home from a friend's house, I still got told off by someone in the street for J not wearing enough layers. I think it was because there was a small gap between his coat and hat that meant part of his neck was exposed.
But I'm not complaining because as often as someone gives me advice in the street, someone else will offer to help me if I'm out by myself with J. Saturday was a case in point - to get to the ferry landing station required travelling a couple of stops on the metro and a short funicular ride. Generally, the metro system here is super-pushchair-friendly. As in, I can enter a metro station, take the metro wherever I need to go and exit without having to take J out of the pushchair.
However, if the lift you need is out of order, you have a slight problem. This happened to me on our way to Kadıköy at the worst possible place when I discovered that the lift that replaces four escalators, a travelling walkway and a couple of minutes walk was out of order. But, after making my way up one escalator carrying J in one arm and the pushchair with the other hand, a man offered to take the pushchair and carried it all the way out for me, even though I'm not sure he was actually planning to take the exit I took. And on our ferry trip out, someone else carried the pushchair as we were disembarking. And even better - by the time of our return a few hours later, the lift was fixed.
I guess this is life in a big city! Interestingly, L and I both feel that the transition to living in a huge city has been one of the biggest adaptations we have had to make in moving here. Although the transition to big city life has probably been compounded by the cross-cultural move, and vice-versa.
Oh, and if you wanted to know what L's presentation was on, it was about babies, cats and aliens as L presented his 'theories' that babies were actually either (a) a member of the cat family or (b) aliens with super-powers. Personally I think it was just an excuse to show his classmates photos and videos of J.
L's in the middle of another month's language course and on Monday he had to give a 20-25 minute presentation in class - in Turkish of course - on a topic of his choosing. He spent much of the weekend working on that while J and I had a trip to Kadıköy, just across on the Asian side. I'd spent the best part of two weeks within a quarter mile of our flat and really felt I needed some open space and J hadn't been on a ferry for quite a while. So a trip on the public ferry across the Bosphorus, a quick lunch outside for us both, space for J to run around on the promenade next to the sea, cats for him to watch/chase and a return ferry journey in time for his afternoon nap was perfect. And it was warm - so warm that J was running around in a t-shirt and jumper without me getting told off by anyone for not having enough layers on him!
This is in contrast to yesterday, where despite having wrapped J up in a coat and hat over his vest and long-sleeved top for the approximately 10 minute (if you average out my walking speed while carrying J with J's walking speed) walk home from a friend's house, I still got told off by someone in the street for J not wearing enough layers. I think it was because there was a small gap between his coat and hat that meant part of his neck was exposed.
But I'm not complaining because as often as someone gives me advice in the street, someone else will offer to help me if I'm out by myself with J. Saturday was a case in point - to get to the ferry landing station required travelling a couple of stops on the metro and a short funicular ride. Generally, the metro system here is super-pushchair-friendly. As in, I can enter a metro station, take the metro wherever I need to go and exit without having to take J out of the pushchair.
However, if the lift you need is out of order, you have a slight problem. This happened to me on our way to Kadıköy at the worst possible place when I discovered that the lift that replaces four escalators, a travelling walkway and a couple of minutes walk was out of order. But, after making my way up one escalator carrying J in one arm and the pushchair with the other hand, a man offered to take the pushchair and carried it all the way out for me, even though I'm not sure he was actually planning to take the exit I took. And on our ferry trip out, someone else carried the pushchair as we were disembarking. And even better - by the time of our return a few hours later, the lift was fixed.
I guess this is life in a big city! Interestingly, L and I both feel that the transition to living in a huge city has been one of the biggest adaptations we have had to make in moving here. Although the transition to big city life has probably been compounded by the cross-cultural move, and vice-versa.
Oh, and if you wanted to know what L's presentation was on, it was about babies, cats and aliens as L presented his 'theories' that babies were actually either (a) a member of the cat family or (b) aliens with super-powers. Personally I think it was just an excuse to show his classmates photos and videos of J.
Friday, 11 November 2016
The H-word
I'll let you into a secret. People like us often don't like talking about (whisper it) holidays.
When we first mentioned in an update a couple of months back that we were looking forward to a holiday I actually didn't want to mention the h-word at all. Until my husband pointed out I was being ridiculous and we might have moved country but we are still human and people at home know that we will need a holiday now and then.
Deep down, I know he is right. But I've read enough blogs and books by others like us to know that I'm not alone in feeling like this sometimes. There is the temptation to feel like we have to at least appear, and preferably be, strong and effective, which somehow translates as not needing a holiday. There's a pressure to be seen to be spending money in a wise and thrifty manner and a holiday is a luxury. There's the nagging feeling that we haven't done enough to earn a holiday - we're only language learning right now.
I know (at least I hope!) that most of this is just in my head. And there's part of it that is based on good principles. We should be conscious of how we use our resources, and want to use them well. There is a not-so-great part as well, that highlights tendencies of pride and people-pleasing. There is also a more complicated part to it where sometimes the best/cheapest/most logical course of action here doesn't necessarily look like that from 2,000 miles away but neither is it practical or necessarily helpful to explain or justify those decisions to everyone who we update on a regular basis.
So, we went on holiday to Cyprus. I could throw in here that we went by plane, but that flights to North Cyprus are treated a little bit like domestic flights, and domestic flights are cheap here, and we don't have a car anyway. I could also add that a couple that we don't even know directly allowed us to stay in their home on very generous terms. Which perhaps demonstrates the point that while on the surface of things, going to Cyprus might not look like the most logical thing to do, it really was a very good option. And also allows me to sneakily make sure that you know some of the reasons why this holiday was a very good option.
We got to spend lots of time with L's parents, who were staying close by to us at the same time (another reason we went to Cyprus). We took J to the beach a few times and he delighted in playing in the sand fortresses that his father and grandfather built, trying to pick up as many stones as he could carry and attempting to run into the sea whenever possible. J discovered Lego at the house we were staying in and L enjoyed making Lego models for J (so much so that quite a few times I found L "building models for J" whilst J was napping...). We read books, rested, relaxed, and even braved the cold outdoor pool (but not for very long). We enjoyed spending some time outside of Istanbul, and indeed Turkey. And we came back refreshed and ready to get stuck into language learning again.
When we first mentioned in an update a couple of months back that we were looking forward to a holiday I actually didn't want to mention the h-word at all. Until my husband pointed out I was being ridiculous and we might have moved country but we are still human and people at home know that we will need a holiday now and then.
Deep down, I know he is right. But I've read enough blogs and books by others like us to know that I'm not alone in feeling like this sometimes. There is the temptation to feel like we have to at least appear, and preferably be, strong and effective, which somehow translates as not needing a holiday. There's a pressure to be seen to be spending money in a wise and thrifty manner and a holiday is a luxury. There's the nagging feeling that we haven't done enough to earn a holiday - we're only language learning right now.
I know (at least I hope!) that most of this is just in my head. And there's part of it that is based on good principles. We should be conscious of how we use our resources, and want to use them well. There is a not-so-great part as well, that highlights tendencies of pride and people-pleasing. There is also a more complicated part to it where sometimes the best/cheapest/most logical course of action here doesn't necessarily look like that from 2,000 miles away but neither is it practical or necessarily helpful to explain or justify those decisions to everyone who we update on a regular basis.
So, we went on holiday to Cyprus. I could throw in here that we went by plane, but that flights to North Cyprus are treated a little bit like domestic flights, and domestic flights are cheap here, and we don't have a car anyway. I could also add that a couple that we don't even know directly allowed us to stay in their home on very generous terms. Which perhaps demonstrates the point that while on the surface of things, going to Cyprus might not look like the most logical thing to do, it really was a very good option. And also allows me to sneakily make sure that you know some of the reasons why this holiday was a very good option.
We got to spend lots of time with L's parents, who were staying close by to us at the same time (another reason we went to Cyprus). We took J to the beach a few times and he delighted in playing in the sand fortresses that his father and grandfather built, trying to pick up as many stones as he could carry and attempting to run into the sea whenever possible. J discovered Lego at the house we were staying in and L enjoyed making Lego models for J (so much so that quite a few times I found L "building models for J" whilst J was napping...). We read books, rested, relaxed, and even braved the cold outdoor pool (but not for very long). We enjoyed spending some time outside of Istanbul, and indeed Turkey. And we came back refreshed and ready to get stuck into language learning again.
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