Language learning brings a number of puzzles that we never anticipated, particularly when combined with a small child.
Here's one we're wrestling with at the moment.
We speak English to J, although sometimes J is around when we're speaking Turkish together (which doesn't happen as often as it should).
But when one of us takes him to the park and there are other parents and children there, what language should we speak?
If I want to be able to engage with other parents and for them to know that I can speak some Turkish, it really helps if they can hear me speaking Turkish. Otherwise they might just assume I don't speak any Turkish and won't say anything to me. The easiest way to do that is to speak to J in Turkish in the park, so when I'm overheard by others they know I can speak a little of the language and are more likely to talk to me.
Plus, it's surprising how much I end up speaking to J partly in order to communicate to others. For example, when he's plonked himself down at the top of a slide and there's another child who wants to come down, the natural thing to do is to say to J "come on, come down the slide, there's another child waiting". Part of that is for J, but part of it is also for the waiting child (and their parent!) to let them know that I've seen that they are waiting and I'm trying to do something about it. But if I'm speaking for J's benefit, I'd speak in English. If I'm speaking for the benefit of other people to J, I need to be speaking Turkish, even if J doesn't understand.
L and I were chatting about this the other day, and we don't have any easy answers. In time, J will learn some Turkish and also learn that while Mummy and Daddy generally speak in one language, sometimes there are situations in which they talk using a completely different set of words and grammar. But knowing what to do right now when he's in an intensive and critical period of just starting to speak is hard.
Our solution right now is a bit of a compromise. Generally we talk to J in English at the park, sometimes we talk in Turkish. Sometimes I talk to J in English but to other parents and children in Turkish. We think it's working for us at the moment, and we'll just have to see how it works out as he gets older.
