One year. Wow. I'd like to have a nice neat story about the one big thing we've learned this year or a few reflections with a common thread running through them but life isn't usually that simple, and especially not our first year in a different country. So here are 10 impressions, vignettes or moments that have stuck in my memory that together, in a jumble of thoughts and feelings, go some way towards summing up our first year here. In no particular order:
- The time I took J to IKEA by myself, a couple of weeks after we moved here. It was my fourth trip to IKEA in less than 10 days (long story) and after I'd returned the wrong items we'd mistakenly bought, navigated the store and bought a trolley full of other stuff, I had to queue up to leave all the things I'd bought to be delivered to our flat later on. After waiting at least 30-40 minutes with a fractious baby, I broke all the cultural norms, sat on the floor in the queue next to my trolley and gave J a feed. And after we finally got the delivery sorted, I bought him a sucuk (garlic "sausage") hot dog, which he wolfed down on the metro on the way home as people smiled at the foreign baby who liked sucuk and I tried not to think about what exactly was in the hot dog.
- Hosting Christmas dinner for people from our small group. It was our first time cooking a Christmas dinner, there was a total of 11-12 of us representing a fair few countries between us, we introduced everyone to Yorkshire pudding and we all had a fun time together.
- The time when I went to the supermarket and the strawberries were really cheap. We hadn't long been here and I asked in Turkish for 200g of strawberries. The greengrocer looked at me like he didn't understand me and double-checked. I was sure I was asking correctly. It turned out that 200g of strawberries is not very much and it wasn't a language fail but a shopping fail (spot the person who is used to buying from supermarkets and not by the gram). Then having to go back when I'd realised my error and ask for some more (because they really were a bargain).
- Arriving in Selçuk, the small town closest to Ephesus, and enjoying being in a very small town for a change. And heading out the next morning, being surprised by how cool the air temperature was to start with because, in contrast to Istanbul, there was no smog to lock in the warm air overnight.
- The way that the men who operate the underground car park on our street know J by name and almost always call out to him when we walk by to say hello.
- Taking the ferry across the Bosphorus and just enjoying sitting out on the deck and feeling the breeze (and the fact that the journey was only costs a person £0.40-£0.60).
- The time when L watched a young children's Turkish cartoon on Youtube (with J!), having struggled to understand much of it 6 months before and then finding it was basically too easy for him now - he was understanding pretty much everything and needed to watch something more challenging!
- The time when we went to get our passport photos taken for our new ikamet (residence permit) applications. J was scared as soon as he went into the studio and after I'd had mine done, we sat him on the stool and gave him pieces of dried apricot to keep him happy. After the first photo, he decided he really didn't like the flash. But rather than cry, he behaved perfectly - he continued to sit on the stool and looked straight at the camera. Then firmly covered his eyes with his hands. Even when offered extra apricot, he reached out with one hand to take the snack while keeping the other hand firmly over one eye.
- The friends and family who have visited us this first year, sometimes only for a few hours on a layover, sometimes for a few days, and who have kept us well supplied with Dairy Milk, extra mature cheddar cheese, Shreddies and Weetabix.
- The number of people who have gone out of their way to help us, offered to translate for us if we ever needed it and generously overlook our language faux paus. I wrote the other week about L's friend negotiating our rent for us. Others have said we should call them if we've ever stuck in a situation. Last September, another friend helped L make arrangements for a birthday/anniversary surprise for me and more recently friends of mine have shared their advice and wisdom on the practicalities of navigating the medical system here for pregnancy and child birth. And that's not counting all the strangers who have shown us kindness at various points, from helping carry the pushchair up steps to alerting the bus driver when we missed our bus stop to finding a way to register J on the medical system despite not having his ikamet ID number at the time.
And now for year number two!
