You can imagine the scene. I'm walking down the road with my ginger haired, greeny-blue eyed toddler holding my hand, carrying my 5 month old on my front in our slightly battered (and by 'battered', I mean 'slobbered on') baby carrier. A little old lady passes us, looks at J and then sees that there's a baby as well, coos over at least one and probably both of them and says in the tone of voice that is especially reserved for saying sweet things to babies and children çirkın, cirkın. Which means 'ugly'. And I smile and nod and acknowledge her comment and we both go our separate ways.
And the strangest thing is that I'm not even being super-British and super-polite, smiling and nodding at something I clearly don't agree with. I don't even think twice about the fact that someone called my child 'ugly'.
As with many things, context is everything! Here's a quick explanation.
People here regularly (as in, at least once on pretty much every trip I make outside with the boys) look at J and S smile and say maşallah, which loosely means 'may God protect' and is a kind of shorthand phrase for the longer phrase Allah nazardan korusun. The idea behind it is that if you see a cute baby or child and compliment them, that can attract the attention of evil spirits, who can cause harm to a child. But saying maşallah will protect the child from the evil eye. While the use of amulets (particularly the blue nazar boncuğu) here is widespread, maşallah has mostly (at least in our area) evolved into one of the polite things you can say when you want to express that a baby or child is cute. There's even no need to attach the compliment at the start, you just say maşallah. The other main phrase we hear directed towards J and S is çok tatlı, which means 'very sweet', which is what we would choose to say rather than maşallah.
However, some people use a different phrase. They see J or S as they go past, and rather than say something nice, then have to say maşallah, or just say maşallah by itself, they use an antonym. Using the antonym will avoid attracting the attention of the evil eye/evil spirits full stop. So, instead of saying that a child is beautiful, they said 'ugly'. Both the speaker and the parent know what is meant so everybody understands the intention and nobody gets offended.
But, I'm going to admit, while it hardly registers with me now, it did feel strange the first few times I heard somebody call my child ugly in such a warm, friendly and obviously complimentary way!
